Lost in Thought at Lost River: Where Are You God?

This past week has been my spring break from school, but it certainly has not felt like a break.  All week I have done homework, reading, research, written papers, while also listing and negotiating contracts for real estate which is my livelihood.  Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for a week of no classes because I am not sure how I would have accomplished all of this.  However, this morning I was feeling the need to just get away for the day and to just let go of thoughts, burdens and a restlessness that I have been experiencing.  I needed to feel and know that God was present with me.  I have been in silence and waiting mode for God just as He has instructed me, but I have to admit, it sometimes gets weary waiting.  I have found myself questioning and asking, "Where are you God?, Are you even hearing my prayers?, What more do you want from me?, How long must I wait?

So I got in my car and headed north on Route 42 and ended up at Lost River State Park off of Rt. 259 in West Virginia.  I parked my car and was immediately drawn to the water.  I sat on a rock wall that overlooked the stream bed that meandered between the forks of the rolling mountainside.  The sun was beaming down on me and it felt so delightful!  It was peaceful listening to the water flowing through the stream, but I could also hear the water rolling out of the mountains as the sun and nearly 60 degree temperatures was melting the snow.  As I was sitting there, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit upon me as my body trembled uncontrollably and I wept.  I really needed to feel God's presence today because I have been praying and asking God where He has been.  I have unanswered prayers and the only thing I keep hearing from God is to wait.  I must also admit that I have voiced and cried out my frustrations at God because I have done each thing He has put before me and asked me to do.  I have been on this God-led spiritual journey now for nearly five years.  This journey certainly was not my plan.  God knows that I have resisted and at times flat out rebelled against  this calling.  During this wrestling period with God, He assured me to trust and believe that He is orchestrating and working on my behalf to answer my prayers.  God never revealed to me though how long I must wait to see the manifestation of my prayers.

I ended up walking through Lost River State Park.  It was like I had the entire park to myself.  As I was walking, I felt the sun radiating upon me and I was inhaling deeply the pine scent.  I gazed up to the blue clear sky.  I was in awe of the towering pines and how the sunlight glistened through. 

Once I finished exploring Lost River State Park, I decided to make a stop at the cabin where I spent a week in solitude with God over Christmas break.  As I walked into the cabin, I was overcome with emotion as I reflected on that special week that I had with Ginger not knowing I would be putting her to sleep the following week.  I sat on the front porch overlooking the five mountain ranges into Mt. Storm.  I sat in the rocking chair and said, "okay God I am here, where are you at?  I really need to hear from you."  Again, I felt God's presence and became emotional weeping as I sat there.  While sitting in the rocking chair, I prayed and asked God to reveal a message through scripture to me.  I randomly opened my Bible and then the wind caught some pages of my Bible and it opened up to the book of James.  The subheading in James 1 is Trials and Temptations.  Verses 2-18 reads:

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. 9 The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10 But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business. 12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. 13 When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 16 Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.  

God did reveal to me through this scripture that He sees and knows my struggles and burdens.  I sat there in silence and meditated until my feet were frozen.  I asked God, "Is there anything else you want to reveal to me before I leave?"  At that time, two red headed woodpeckers flew into a tree that was in front of me.  That too is symbolic and also reassured me that God is hearing my prayers.  I stood there watching them scurrying along the tree.  I watched as each woodpecker went inside and out of holes in the tree.  Then I heard the scripture in Matthew 6:26-27 that says:  ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?  Another affirmation of not to worry or doubt!  Before I left, I thanked God and said, "I Love You."

As I left the cabin, I decided to drive over Shenandoah Mountain the back way to Moorefield.  As I experienced God's nature and scenery, I would stop and meditate or take photos of His beauty.  As I was going up the mountain, I passed three bicyclists who were ascending the mountain.  They were in amazing shape, and I was impressed at the pace they were going.  Once I got to the top of the mountain and saw the road sign that showed the next three miles are windy and all downhill, I thought oh how those bicyclists are going to enjoy the downward ride.  I realized that is exactly what my spiritual journey has been like.  It seems like it has been bumpy and all up hill with no sight of the mountain top.  If I want to see the mountaintop and enjoy the downward descent, I must keep pressing onward even when I feel like quitting.  If I don't keep peddling up the mountain, I will never know if God answers my prayer requests or not.  

The drive was so pretty with the mountain ridges still covered in snow.  The dirt roads were in a sloppy and slushy mess.  My white vehicle was now splattered with red mountain clay.  Along the way I saw deer and amazing landscape.  

Once I got to Moorefield, WVA I headed toward Petersburg.  What I noticed along the way is that I was following the river.  For those of you that follow my blog, you know how much I am connected to water.  I crossed over the Potomac River and came upon a park along the side the road.  The park is between the road and a rocky mountain cliff with a railroad track that follows the base of the mountain cliff.  The river is also at the base of that cliff.  I ended up spending time there at the river enjoying the scenery.  

Next I got onto Rt. 220 South and headed toward Franklin, WVA.  As I was driving, I was reflecting on how much I saw God today.  This restlessness that I had been feeling was my body revealing to me its longing to be with God one on one in His beauty and nature.  It is when I am in nature that I feel the closest to God.

As I entered into Franklin, I decided to have supper at Fireside Diner which used to be Thompsons.  When did that change?  I really need to get out more :)  I took my journal in with me and wrote this blog while I ate and enjoyed watching the locals  coming in and interacting with each other.  They were beginning to get really busy, and I had already been there for an hour and a half.  So I decided it was time for me to get back across the mountain. 

Driving up Rt. 33 mountain that overlooks into Brandywine, I just kept staring at the sunset.  It was amazing and looked like brush strokes across the sky.  I could even see a "V" in the sky, but it really doesn't show up in my photos.  I heard the word "Victory".  God assured me again that He has already won the victory and for me to stop doubting and worrying.  On the way down the mountain a song came on the radio by Christy Nockels, "Waiting Here For You."  Yes, I know, WAITING again!  "Waiting Here For You."  What is ironic to me is that I had been surrounded by mountains all day so I had a fresh perspective of how great and majestic the mountains are.  The lyrics are, 

If faith can move the mountains
Let the mountains move
We come with expectation
Waiting here for you, I’m waiting here for you

You’re the Lord of all creation
And still you know my heart
The Author of Salvation
You’ve loved us from the start

Waiting here for You
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You we adore
Singing Alleluia

You are everything You’ve promised
Your faithfulness is true
And we're desperate for Your presence
All we need is You

Singing Alleluia
So I found God!  But what I realized He was never missing.  He has been with me the entire time, but I wasn't making time to be present with Him in all of my busyness.  He has also been consistent with His message to me which is "WAIT."  I am so glad that God never gets tired of me questioning and seeking answers.  I am so grateful that God was so affirming and present with me even though I still got the same answer to still "WAIT."  So, yes, I am still a lady in waiting, but one with expectancy! 

I wonder if you have ever had a similar experience of "WAITING?"  If so, share it with me.  I would love to hear about it!

Mandala Anyone?

I first became acquainted with mandalas during my time of study at Eastern Mennonite University in the Master of Arts Counseling program.  Mandalas originated from Sanskrit which is the ancient language of India.  The word mandala means "sacred circle." 

A mandala is basically a drawn circle with images, colors, and designs within that circle.  Psychoanalyst, Carl G. Jung used mandalas with his patients and himself as a way of acknowledging the "inner self."  Jung believed that mandalas portrayed our inner experience at that moment.  He believed it was a way for us to experience our inner world with the chaotic outer world which could bring us into union with ourselves to a feeling of wholeness.

I personally color and create my own mandalas.  I have been amazed at how revealing they are of my inner world when I can't put literal words to what I am experiencing.  Once I have finished or completed a mandala, I spend time with it doing associations with the colors or what the designs may symbolically reveal to me. 

The most extensive mandala that I have ever created was last spring 2013.  I keep a daily journal of my reflections, how I experience God, inspirations from God which sometimes becomes a written devotional, and last and probably my most important work is I log my dreams.  Dreams are the unconscious part of our psyche that is trying to come forth to reveal parts of ourselves to us when our defenses are less activated.  Every person and symbol that shows up in our dream is a part of us.  When we do associations with these parts of ourselves, both inferior and good parts are being brought to our awareness.  When we can integrate all of these parts of ourselves into union with each other, we can experience peace, wellness and wholeness.

So last spring I created a mandala based on my dreams that God revealed to me.  I first drew it in my journal and it was so sacred to me that I decided to create a glass mosaic of it.  It was my journey with God of recklessly abandoning my false self and God taking me to my inner depths.  God revealed to me that He shattered my previous way of being and was now leading me into ministry and what He created me to be and do.  Here is a photo of it.  It is 22 inches in circumference with a wooden frame I had custom made for it.

Today I sat down and began to color a mandala because I have an inner stirring and restlessness within me that I can't name.  Here is a picture of it and this is what God revealed to me.  The purple is at my inner most depth and soul and represents the Holy Spirit within me.  It is  from this place that as my own seeds have been planted, the spirit is also dispersing seeds beyond and through me.  The yellow is God's light and blessing in this process and work that is taking place.  Red is the passion that is being birthed.  Green is the growth that is taking place even though it doesn't seem to be much happening.  I am assured though that it is coming to fruition.  The orange is abundant and it is the harvest that is coming.  The blue is the spirit of protection and peace while all of this is taking place within and without me.

There is a lot that is stirring and it now makes sense to me what I am experiencing.  I would encourage you to try to color your own mandala.  There are several websites that offer free, printable mandalas.  If you decide to take this up, please share with me your mandala and reflection of your experience.  I would love to hear from you!

 

Waxing & Waning to the Rhythm of Life

image credit:  http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2681/4228573741_f915ecf81c_o.jpg

It is nearly 1 am, Monday, February 10, 2014.  After my time of prayer, devotions and sitting silently in the presence of the Lord, I was ready to turn the light off and go to bed.  No sooner than I turned the light off, my attention was drawn to my window where light was coming in.  In the darkness, I was stumbling and feeling my way around my bedroom to get to the window.  I believed I knew where the light was coming from, but I just had to see if my self.  Sure enough, it was light radiating from the moon.  I pushed back my window sheer and stood there in awe. 

As early as I can remember, I always had a fascination with the night sky, the stars and the moon.  The moon is a feminine energy so maybe that is my pull and draw to the moon.  When I was a kid, I remember in the summer time going outside in my pajamas with a blanket.  I would lie under the night sky looking up at the stars and moon.  I would try to figure out the constellations and just lie there relaxing, wondering and dreaming of what could be.

I got tired of standing at the window and decided to lie down on my back comfortably and meditate upon the night sky, the stars, and the moon.  I wanted to reflect on what was being evoked within me.  I invited the Holy Spirit in to my presence asking what may be revealed to me during this time.  There is only three feet between my bed and the wall where the window is facing out toward the moon.  Yes, I crouched down, maneuvered myself into this space into a position flat on my back with my legs crossed Indian style resting them up on my wall.  I know this doesn't sound too comfortable, but it actually was.

As I laid there asking God to reveal to me the significance of the night sky, the stars and the moon in my waking life, I was amazed at what was revealed to me.  The dark night sky is vast with things seen and unseen.  We can't even begin to comprehend how far reaching God's sky, heaven and galaxies are.  There are things in the sky that we can't see with the naked eye.  There are things still undiscovered despite our advances with technology.  God revealed to me that the night sky is just like our souls.  There are things at the inner depths of our souls that are still undiscovered, unseen and never experienced yet.  It is there waiting to be discovered, revealed and in divine union with God.

Then the stars, some are bright, some faint, and some even unseen.  The stars are similar to our spiritual gifts that God has equipped us with.  Some of our spiritual gifts are manifest or dominate, some are latent gifts that we don't utilize often while others have not been recognized or acknowledged yet.  I have done several tests that help you determine what your manifest and latent gifts are.  The beauty is, there are more hidden gifts that God wants to reveal to us so that we can experience Him and our life here on earth in a more life giving way. 

Lastly, the moon!  Aww the moon!  I get warm and fuzzies even mentioning the moon.  The moon would be similar to us "I" or the true self.  Just like the moon that waxes and wanes, so does the "I".  Each night, week, month, season, and even at certain times of the year, the moon is waxing and waning with the rhythms of life.  The important message of the "I" waxing and waning is the personal question to yourself, "Am I being true to myself "I", and who God created me to be and do?"  Do "I" know who I am in Christ so that no matter what moon phase "I" am experiencing, am I responding to the rhythms of life, no matter what they may be, in a life giving way?  The night sky, the stars and the moon don't resist God's natural order.  "I" too need to live my life just like the night sky, stars, and moon waxing and waning in total abandonment and submission to God's order for my life.  When "I" am being true to myself, self-love can be experienced which overflows into others.

I personally can often overlook God's natural order of waxing and waning with the rhythm of life because my flesh of knowing, wanting and desiring can get in the way or even disrupt this rhythm.  You ask me how can I be sure of this?  I can say that as I sat in this position meditating, I trembled internally knowing that the Holy Spirit was upon me and revealed this to me.  The Holy Spirit is inviting us to surrender and submit to God's natural order for the waxing and waning in our life.  Yes, this can be and is an uncomfortable place to be.  Why?  Because in our flesh, we don't like to give up control, we don't like the unknown, we like to be who we want to be and sadly we care more of what others think of us instead of what God thinks of us.  We just try to fit in with the next new fad, social group or event.  The Holy Spirit is inviting us to submit ourselves, our day, trials, burdens and order to the waxing and waning of the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit wants to lead and guide us in the way that we should go revealing to us who we are in Christ. 

How does one find this experience?  It begins by earnestly seeking to encounter the Holy Spirit.  Find a space to sit in the silence, deny yourself of flesh desires, submit to God's will, be in solitude and even experience loneliness.   Yes, it may seem that we may be walking against the way of the world, and we are, but there is no desire here on earth worth more than the eternal glory that we will experience at the right hand of our Heavenly Father. 

This work that we commit to now here on earth is only a stepping stone in preparing our souls for this glorious experience in heaven.  I wonder if we will be ready for it?  It is my prayer that we all will be ready for it.  In God's grip and peace!   

I Am That Woman: Remorseful Sinner With A Jar, Weeping!

On my spiritual journey with God, He has been taking me deeper into the depths of my soul revealing more hidden and masked sin from my past.  The Holy Spirit has convicted me of my inappropriate and poor choices in my past.  As I acknowledge who I used to be, I weep with sorrow for my sinful nature.  My tears are also of thankfulness and gratitude for God rescuing me from the deep pit of despair to my near self-destruction.

As I have reflected on where I was and where God has brought me, I realized that "I am that woman...the woman with the alabaster jar of perfume" in Matthew 26:6-13; Mark14:1-8; and Luke 7:36-50.  I found images on the internet of the woman at Jesus' feet.  I can only stare and repeat, "that is me, that is me."  I was that woman who lived a sinful life, but now have come to realize the depth of what Jesus did for me by wiping away my debt.

I have always professed of being a Christian.  I went to church sometimes regularly and sometimes intermittently on Sundays, but I was not in an intimate relationship with God allowing the Holy Spirit to guide and lead my choices and decisions.  I was going through the motions of showing up on Sunday's doing my time in the pews.  I served and volunteered my time as well justifying my deeds.  However, I was living out of my own comfort of flesh and worldly desires which satisfied me in the short term, but soon come to realize that I was empty, void and doing great harm to my soul which also inadvertently affected others close around me adversely. 

In September 2009, I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ by being re-baptized in Beaver Creek.  That week, it had rained really hard and there was a cold front that had went through.  My pastor, Glenn Bollinger, had to go and make a new place in Beaver Creek for the baptism because the normal spot was too deep.  The water was so cold that day that I had to walk in slowly trying to get my body accustomed to it.  The first time I was dunked in the name of the Father, it took my breath and I felt like I could not breathe.  Little did I know at the time, that this experience was going to be a metaphor for my spiritual journey of going to the inner depths of my soul in order to find God's living, sustaining waters that would sometimes leave me gasping for air shedding many, many tears.  It has been a slow, painful transformational process of God graciously peeling back the many layers of a lifetime of hidden sin and past decay.  I often think of it as if I am similar to an onion where each layer is being peeled off with a welling up of tears streaming down my face as I endure the harsh, strong odor of the onion.  I never realized the depth of this work that God would be doing within me of uprooting and purging my soul.  This has been the most painful work and discipline I have ever endured in my entire life.  I also realize that it is the most essential spiritual discipline that I must commit to of self-examining myself each and every day.

My commitment to walk out my faith to one of serving Jesus Christ has become a spiritual discipline of where I discern and ask myself the same life giving questions each day.  These questions are:  1.  Do my choices and decisions align with God's word and truth in scriptures?  2.  Is it the truth?  3.  Is it pleasing to God?  4.  Is it pure in heart, words, deeds, actions and thoughts? 5.  It is in God's will for me?  6.  Am I living transparently every day?  7.  Will it glorify God and further His kingdom? 

Even though God's love, grace, and mercy has rescued and saved me, I know that I still have negative and false parts within me because of the fallen world I was born into of original sin.  To help remind me of this fact, I wear two cross bracelets most days.  One is a cross with black beads on it that reminds me that everyday I have to look and go to the inner dark depths within myself called shadow parts.  It is painful to look at these dark places within myself, but one that is necessary so that God can continue to transform me into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ.  The second cross bracelet that I wear is white pearl looking beads.  It reminds me that I have to do the deep dark inner work in order for God to release my creative, full potential that is within me waiting to be birthed and unfolded.  It gets obstructed by the unacknowledged and unrecognized dark shadow parts of self.  I praise God for revealing this to me and the gift of His Son who rescued and saved a sinner like me. 

So yes, I am no different than the woman with the alabaster jar of perfume that wept at Jesus' feet, dried his feet with her hair and poured her perfume onto his feet out of her deepest love and adoration for what He had done for her.  Out of my own remorse, I recognize that He redeemed and is continually restoring my soul in which I willingly participate with this lifetime of ongoing work.  I too am at Jesus' feet deeply in love giving my heart and self to God as a gift back to Him for what He has done for me.  Amen!

 

 

 

 

My Inability to Chop Wood Humiliated Me: Series Six of Six

From my time up on the mountain, I can't get one incident off my mind.  I was nearly out of chopped wood and there were only big pieces left so I needed to chop up some wood.  My sweet sister in faith left me a maul in case this would happen.

In my younger days, this was nearly an every day occurrence or chore for me at my parent's home.  Little did I know that day with the maul in my hand and the piece of wood so perfectly situated that I was ready to chop some wood, so I thought!  I picked up the maul, swung it around with as much force as I could and hit the right edge of the wood.  To my amazement the maul only made a small dent in the piece of wood and bounced back toward me.  I was in disbelief, but I thought okay I didn't swing hard enough.  So I rared back and swung the maul even harder.  This time I was shocked!  The same thing happened.  So I repeated it again....the same thing!  I thought what is going on?  Could I have really gotten this weak and I can no longer chop wood?  I was humiliated and my ego was crushed!  So as I sulked, I gave up trying to chop wood and walked back into the cabin.  I thought that either the large pieces of wood were going to burn or it was going to be a couple of final cold days for me.  Luckily the wood did burn for me.  Also embarrassing, I found where my sister in faith and her husband had already chopped and stacked wood for me on the front porch that I did not discover until my fourth day at the cabin which is funny now to think about. However, I could not get that incident off my mind and wondered if there was significance or a message that was trying to be conveyed to me.  It certainly was!  That piece of dry wood was exactly like a hardened or lost soul.

I have been on a spiritual quest now for over four years.  I have been praying, fasting, meditating, giving, serving, studying God's word along with many other spiritual disciplines.  It has been an inner process of transformation for me.  What I realized is that piece of wood represented my very soul that used to be hardened, lost and dry.  A hardened, lost or dry soul doesn't have the capability or capacity to receive God's love, grace and forgiveness.  It doesn't matter how much effort you put into these spiritual disciplines if there is still hidden sin and past decay rooted within your spirit and soul.  You can't fully receive God's perfect love and have union with Him with a hardened, lost or dry soul.  So I realized that my time at the cabin was a time to deepen my relationship with God through contemplation by just being present with God without asking, praying or requesting anything from Him.  I was being present for Him to have His way with the inner workings of my soul.  That stirring and stripping was taking me to a place of nothingness.  In my nothingness He could then purge, purify and transform my spirit and soul.  He was preparing me to receive His perfect love.

You see if you don't open yourself up to this process, everything you do is like working and swinging the maul as hard as you can, but it never gets the job done of splitting the wood to the core.  If you are not open and ready for this process it is like swinging a maul as hard as you can to have it only hit the wood and bounce back off of it making only a dent in the wood. 

I was finally at a stuck place realizing I wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't seeing any growth or progress from all of my efforts.  So I had to open myself up both heart and soul in order to allow God's inner soul and spirit to work within me that would prepare me to receive this overflowing, intimate, pure, unfailing, and unending love for me.  None of that was in my efforts.  It was God's work.  It was the most exhilarating feeling that I have ever felt in my entire life.  I can't even begin to explain it and even after experiencing it, I still can't comprehend fully what I experienced other than to say, I want more of it from the One and only True Lover of My Soul, God.  I know He will never abandon, deceive or fail  me.  This I know is true as God has continued to be faithful to me on this journey with Him thus far. 

I will never forget this humiliating experience of my inability to chop the wood, but again it is the perfect place to encounter God in my weakness, nothingness and humiliation.  It is always at that place where God reveals a life lesson to me in how everyday He is refining me in His image!  I am so grateful for His patience, gentleness, grace and love for me in all of my weaknesses and imperfections.

If you feel stuck or stale in your relationship with God, go out and try to chop some wood to see if your soul is hardened, lost or dry.  No seriously, find a place to seek and encounter God one on one and invite Him into your heart and soul allowing Him to have His way in your inner most depths.  It will be the most exhilarating and intimate experiences you will ever have.  Once you experience it, you will spend more solitude time with God wanting to experience more.    

Restless Night at the Cabin: Series Five of Six

On my last night at the cabin, I had a restless night's sleep that I attributed to my hesitancy of wanting this time of solitude to end with God.  It has been one of the most enriching and intimate experiences I have ever encountered with God.  I was up and down all night and would sit in the rocking chair looking out the glass doors toward Mt. Storm mountain range.

As I sat there reflecting how perfect this time has been, I just wept and told God that I did not want this time to end.  I prayed and asked Him to go with me back home and be with me like this all the time.  I have never felt so much love, peace and security in my entire life.

I finally went back to bed and dozed off awakening this morning with so much gratitude but also ambivalence of returning home.  I slowly began to pack things up and clean the cabin.  As I have been doing so, there have been so many black birds that I have not seen since I've been at the cabin.  As I looked out the glass doors, they are circling over the cabin and cawing out soaring high into the sky toward Mt. Storm.  God is telling me, "it is time!"  He is "cawing" me out to now go!  He revealed to me that there is much work to be done.  He assured me that he is holding on to me and it is time to soar just like the birds.  It is a time to soar to new things emerging and a time to soar to new heights that I never thought possible.  Yes, God is calling me out to soar on His behalf and on His wings sharing His love, grace, mercy and compassion with all of humanity.

I now felt comforted and knew as well it was time for me to go and finish preparing to do God's work.  I looked down at Ginger who was laying beside me at this door where she often stayed.  This too was her favorite place to meditate with me as well.  She could look out the glass door and rest peacefully, snoring contently.  Knowing that she is getting to the end of her life as a result of her lymphoma, it was also such a special time for the both of us to share this experience together.  I will never forget our time here and what she has meant to me on my faith journey where she has given me so much companionship.

When I was loading things up into my car, she was prematurely trying to jump in.  This too was also my answer, it was time for us to go home!  While driving home, we were singing and praising God with a new song and perspective upon our hearts.  It was good to be home!

Go With Expectancy!: Series Four of Six

Day four was the most amazing day of revelation from God.  For the first three days, God was purging my soul and spirit by rooting out hidden sin and past decay.  This is the morning that I awakened to a time of perfect union with God feeling His all encompassing love for me assuring me too that the storm is over and has passed.  God obscured my former sight with a mystical fog that surrounded me while giving me new sight and healing.  He poured down the rains for cleansing and nourishment for this new planting that He has placed  upon my heart, spirit and soul.

Then as I sat in the complete dark that evening, the winds of God's spirit were moving about fiercely outside with new revelations stirring and moving within me.  The word that I heard from the Lord for 2014 was Expectancy! 

I am in utter awe of what God revealed to me and these words came called "Go with Expectancy."

The storm is over
The storm has passed
Don't look back
To the damage that was done

Out of every storm
As obscure as it may seem
New things emerge
Of flourishing things unseen

It never would have come to be
Losses so intimate and deep
A birth obstructed
By hidden sin and past decay

Your on your way now
Your soul purged and purified
To spiritual poverty and nothingness
To one unified with My perfect love

I am equipping you
With wisdom unattainable by flesh
For the work before you
To altruistically serve humanity

Now press forward
With renewed spirit and soul
One of humility, courage and love
Go with Expectancy, glorifying My name in all you do!
Amen