Prophetic Word...This is a Time of Crossover into the New Season

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In my dream I saw a huge wave of water come rushing in around everyone.  No one was prepared for what was coming as they were living their life without regard to God and His holy ways.  Those who did not know what was happening was in fear, but those who had an intimate relationship with God and knew His voice were at peace and joyful. 

God was sending His living waters to surround everyone to cleanse and purify them and the territory that has been occupied by the enemy for too long.  Those who were in Christ were not affected because they knew the high waters would not overflow, consume or sweep them away. 

God is bringing deliverance to the dry wasteland that has become polluted with toxic waste behaviors that are of this world that is often culturally accepted and a social norm, which is not of God.  For those who will receive the transforming waters will be baptized and filled with the Holy Spirit promoted with spiritual gifts to be used in the Kingdom of God.  Those already walking in the Spirit, the transforming waters will propel you into performing signs and wonders for the Kingdom of God.  You will walk on earth as it is in heaven with a holy anointing interceding on behalf of others and the nation. 



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There is a revival coming to awaken this dry land that is going to seem contrary to everything we have ever known.  God is nearing the time to turn the world, political structures, cultural norms, religious legalism, and the global economy inside out, upside down.  Do you not perceive it?  Heaven is breaking in to spring up something new here on earth as it is in heaven. 

The Kingdom of God is here and here to stay...God is about to send satan back to hell where he belongs.  How do you prepare?  Be ready for the wave of rushing waters that is about to overcome.  This is not a physical rushing water, but a flooding of conviction from the Holy Spirit leading to repentance, asking for forgiveness and accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.  It is a time to get yourself and your household in divine order with the leading of the Holy Spirit so that you may receive all that God has for you. 

This is a season of miracles, signs and wonders with prosperity, abundance,  healing, protection and divine wisdom if you choose  to walk in the ways of holiness instead of happiness which is fleeting.  God is sending all kinds of warnings that things are about to shift and transition which will look chaotic unless you are firmly rooted in Christ.  God is preparing the way with water in the desert and streams in the wasteland so that His chosen people that He formed for Himself will proclaim His praise (Isaiah 43).  This is a time to crossover into the new season.  Will you be ready?

My One Year Anniversary: DEPRESSION Will Not Overtake Me!

The upcoming month of March has been on my mind a lot.  It is so hard for me to believe that March will be a year since my Major Depressive Episode.  During that time I experienced the most horrendous pain that I can't even give words to or describe fully.  I thought I was possibly dying and didn't even care because I just wanted to the pain to end.  I was being sucked into a dark pit that had no end in sight to the point of feeling lifeless,  hopeless and void.  I thought I was going to have to hospitalize myself because I couldn't eat, go to the bathroom, get a shower or even get out of bed.  All I did was cry in agony with a mental and emotional pain that debilitated and isolated me from others and my regular routine.  No one was even aware that for the past five to six years I had been fighting back depression because I was able to control and hide it really well. 

In February of last year, my symptoms intensified.  I was no longer able to cope as I had done in the past.  I guess the stress and pressure of me holding it all in for so long on my own finally weighed me down to the point of collapse like a dam giving way during a flood to all of the water and debris that can no longer be contained.

As I reflect over this past year, I am so humbled to see and know how God was hovering over me during my darkest, deepest time of despair.  I am here today because God protected me from the pit of death in which the enemy's goal was the death of my soul.  I now understand the intensity of warfare and the attacks that I was under because I know God has a significant mission that He is bringing to fruition with the vision of the non profit ministry that He has placed upon my heart for Hometown Rescue Mission and Ministry.  This ministry will be a full time residence to the homeless, those with addictions and formerly incarcerated felons to create healing and transformation to increase God's Kingdom. 

During this time of my own healing which has been a very long and arduous season, God has been rebuilding, strengthening and redeeming me from the inside out.  God is placing me on a firm foundation so that I can be with others in their darkest places.  Just as Jesus descended to hell before ascending to heaven, I too feel as though I have descended to hell experiencing the excruciating pains of hell that not only I felt, but also God has given me His heart to feel what others may also be experiencing in their life circumstances because of this sinful and fallen world we live in.

I can truly say, God has given me a gift and has used my depression for His good so that I can give a voice to all of those and their families that may experience or suffer from mental health illnesses.  What the enemy meant for harm, God is using for His glory.  There is nothing wrong admitting and acknowledging that you suffer from mental health illness.  You don't have to bear or suffer this alone.  That is exactly what the enemy wants you to believe so that he can take you down to the death of Hades.  The enemy is a deceiver and liar!  So throw off that cloak of shame, guilt, humiliation, hopelessness and unworthiness that the enemy and society tries to project out upon us.  When we name and acknowledge our struggles, we are bringing it to the light which defeats the enemy.  It also testifies and witnesses to others who may be suffering in the silence with mental health illness.

Let us rise up together becoming vulnerable, a vessel and a voice to encourage and support each other while we defeat the enemy sending him back to hell where he belongs! 

YES, I suffer from depression, and God loves me for being true to myself and others in revealing to others who I truly am:  flaws and all.  I am also an overcomer in which I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  In Christ, I am VICTORIOUS!

I stand in the valley and gap with you my brothers and sisters who may also be suffering with mental health illness.  I speak over you in the name of Jesus that, "You Are VICTORIOUS!  Amen

The Signs Are All Around Us...Do You Perceive Them?

 God has given us an unseasonably warm winter thus far which I have personally enjoyed.  It speaks of God's sovereignty and control over everything that is happening around us despite the world's circumstances and fallenness.  In Ecclesiastes 3, God reveals to us that:

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

¹⁵ Whatever is has already been,
    and what will be has been before;
    and God will call the past to account.

¹⁶ And I saw something else under the sun:

In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
    in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

¹⁷ I said to myself,

“God will bring into judgment
    both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
    a time to judge every deed.”

 

We can't fully comprehend God's ways and timing, but we can be obedient to the season of life whatever our circumstances, trials, hurts and burdens may be.  For we know in all things, God is Emmanuel and with us who is the one in control of everything.  Even when it does not make sense to us intellectually, or we try to seek scientific reasoning, or we offer posits of why we are experiencing abnormal weather patterns where regions are getting snow that normally doesn't see snow, the east cost is getting above average and record breaking temperatures in the winter months, torrential flooding that hasn't occurred in areas for over hundreds of years and tornados where they are least likely to happen.  In the midst of all of this and our own personal storms, God is still in control and with us.  I believe God is sending us urgent messages to awaken us calling us to come back to God and God alone!  God is desiring for us to draw near to Him and He will then draw near to us. 

 

God has placed upon my heart that this is a time of Him awakening His people for a revival.  In order for a revival to take place there must be a fortunate fall.  Where do our priorities lie in our every day waking life?  I pray that it is God first that we are seeking in all areas of our lives.

 

As I look out into my small garden at my front steps, I see God reminding me that He orchestrates Divine order, time and seasons of life as my Easter lilies are up preparing to bloom in the middle of winter instead of early spring.  God is saying,

"See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland."

 

^{Right before there was an awakening during the time of John the Baptist who was preaching in the wilderness of Judea, he asked them to:}

 

“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.” This is he who was spoken of through the prophet Isaiah:

“A voice of one calling in the wilderness,

‘Prepare the way for the Lord,

make straight paths for him.’ ”

 

People were coming forth from the Judean region.  The were coming and confessing their sins and were baptized in the Jordan River by John the Baptist.  We know what follows John's heed and warnings of repentance.  Jesus then comes to John asking to be baptized which would set the divine order, time and season for the destiny of Jesus' ministry.  Jesus said, "Let it be so now; it is proper that the right time (season) for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness"  (Matthew 3:15). 

 

Because Jesus was aware of the right timing of His Father, He obediently followed God.  Those witnessing Jesus' baptism also witnessed God's anointing for the new thing that was about to spring up.  Then the heavens opened up where Jesus and others "saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him.  And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:16). 

 

If Jesus were to come back today, are we walking in God's holy anointing and aligned to God's will?  What would God from heaven say to each of us?  The signs are all around us.  I pray that we perceive it and are making a way for the coming of the Lord for what is eminent for it has been written and does not delay or follow our personal schedules.  God has been in control since the beginning, for He is the Alpha and the Omega.  His words, truth and promises are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  They do not change, so I would suggest that we walk obediently against the ways of the world professing the coming of Jesus our Savior of the World!  His timing is and will be perfect.  Will you be ready?  Amen 

Happiness or Holiness?

 

It has been over seven months since my last blog and over nine months since my Major Depressive Episode that left me bed bound.  It has been a very slow recovery that has required a lot of patience and kindness for myself with a deepening trust and dependence upon God for my healing.  What I have noticed is that there was nothing that I could do in my own abilities to help me regain my memory, my physical strength, my concentration, or ability to read and write in the way that I love to express myself.  One things is certain, God has been faithful to me through it all and is taking me deeper in my relationship and wisdom of knowing who God is.  That deepening insight comes by increasing my consciousness and awakening to my desperate need for my Savior, Jesus Christ because of my sinful nature.  During my prayer and devotion time this morning, God gave me a revelation and shared with me the importance of seeking holiness instead of happiness.

I, just as Saul/Paul, am the worst sinner.  Today we live in a culture where we believe we are entitled to happiness instead of seeking holiness.  Out of our deep emptiness and void we seek in all the wrong places to fill this dark hole within us with inappropriate relationships, sexual impurity, divorce, living dual or false lives, seeking success, status, gluttony, addictions and on and on and on.  We seek the temporary idols in our life hoping to make us happy not realizing in the moment they do offer happiness, but it is not everlasting.  In fact, often these very things are sinful lusts, desires and addictions that opens the doorway for further destructive consequences in our life. 

How can I speak so blatantly about this?  Because this is in fact what God has revealed to me when He came to deliver and rescue me from my sinful pleasures seeking happiness that not only scarred my soul, but inadvertently left scars on individuals lives around me.  Sin hurts everyone in humanity and creation because we are all interconnected.  Jesus says, 'What you have done to the least of these, you have done to me."  The good deeds and the bad deeds all affect those around us when we choose to live in sin.  We are cohesively missing the mark for what God has called and intended for us.  God does give us freewill to decide how we want to live.  Our choices must be to question ourselves  and ask, "Who are we living for?"  Are we seeking self gratification seeking fleeting happiness, or are we living and seeking God and his holiness in every detail of our lives?  Don't get me wrong, I do believe God wants us to experience happiness, but not at the expense of hurting or harming others which is what sin does.  When we seek holiness, we receive a Joy in the Lord that leads to Salvation .

Jesus humbly came for us not seeking happiness, but for righteousness and holiness.  God had a divine intervention and mission for Jesus to fulfill that would be a sacrifice for all of humanity and creation.  That is how much God loves us and wants to spend eternity with us. 

I often hear people say, "Live life to the fullest doing what makes you happy because you only get to live this one life."  That is where they are missing the mark.  We get a more abundant life in eternity standing in front of the Lord without fault experiencing joy and praise continuously.  We exclaim excuses of why it is okay to compromise and live in sin because of a culture and society that deems it appropriate.  Maybe the times have changed, but God's word is clear that He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  God's word does not change based on our feelings, desires, culture or the times.  Sin is sin.  God gave Moses on the tablets the Ten Commandments.  Jesus also gave us the way of right living in the Sermon on the Mount.  There is no one sin that is worse or better than another.  All sin is missing the mark and falling short of what God is calling us to.  Sin is rebellion and separates us from an intimate relationship with God.  Today we don't like to offend or hurt others feelings confronting or acknowledging sin individually, corporately, structurally, economically, socially or politically. 

All sin comes with consequences and there will be wrath and judgment for falling away from God.  This is what God has revealed to me as He has  graciously and lovingly shown to me my own known and hidden sin.  I too just as Saul/Paul am the greatest sinner of all.  I have violated everyone of the Ten Commandments in my previous way of being before coming to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  I may not have physically violated all of the commandments, but I have violated them in my thoughts, words, and heart.  This is the same as if I had done it physically because God already knows all of this about me and this is where the root of sin can enter and take over. 

So the challenge for all of us is that we can't do this on our own.  God knows that.  Jesus even surrounded himself with twelve disciples to journey with him to be witnesses.  We too must surround ourselves with spirit-filled, God-loving and God-fearing individuals that we can be vulnerable and transparent to sharing our hurts, temptations and shortcomings.  This needs to be done just as Jesus met others in love and compassion meeting others right where they are at on their spiritual journey.  The enemy wants to isolate us so that he can continue to deceive us and put reasoning into our hearts and minds of why it is okay to make excuses to live in sin.  I have been there and done that as well.

I am not speaking to you out of judgment or condemnation, but I am speaking to you from my own personal narrative in love and truth.  This is what God has revealed to me where I now understand the depth of humanity and creation's sin and our desperate need for our Savior.  We are faced with trials and temptations every day.  I continually have to seek Jesus to show me how to live a holy life especially in a world where it feels as though we are walking against the ways of the world. 

With Christmas nearing and reflecting on the significance of the birth of Jesus Christ, it is a gift that is overwhelming to comprehend.  For that reason, I don't want to live my life taking what Jesus did for me in vain.  It is a gift of deep unfailing and unending love, mercy, grace and eternal salvation.  This gift, we must not selfishly hold, but we must proclaim, confess and exalt the name of Jesus .  When I become weak, I go the Garden of Gethsemane with Jesus remembering his own despair where he was seeking God's will and not his own.  He asked three times for his destiny to pass him by if possible.  Jesus admitted that his flesh was weak, but the spirit was willing.  Jesus could not endure his impending death on his own, but with God it was possible.  Jesus chose God's will and holiness instead of instant gratification for happiness so that we all may experience eternal rewards with the Lord with eternal happiness, joy, praise healing and life more abundant than we can comprehend or imagine.  We are asked to trust, be obedient and remain faithful just as Jesus did for us. 

What are you seeking???????  Happiness or Holiness???????  Temporary Gain or Eternal Life???????


(photos are shared from internet)

My Major Depression Has Been a Gift

Tonight as I was walking under the moonlight, I began to hear a revelation from God.  This was a welcoming message to me.  Since my depressive episode over two months ago, it has been a slow process of recovery and healing for me.  I was bed ridden for a week where I seemed "formless, empty and dark" similar to how God described the earth before God created it in Genesis 1.  What was interesting to me during my depressive episode was that I still felt God's presence with me.  Just as "the Spirit of God was hovering of the waters" during creation, the Spirit of God was also hovering over me.  God was my light in my darkest place that I have ever been.

The dark for me was the most painful place I have ever been.  I couldn't think, articulate my words, remember, read, journal, pray, go to the bathroom, eat or take a shower.  It was like I was in a dark tunnel being sucked into a deep vacuum going nowhere.  I knew this was not a good place to be, but I also had the sense that God was with me carrying me through this dark birthing canal in excruciating pain.

It has taken me weeks to gain my strength back, and I still get fatigued very easily.  I am finally able to read, remember, and articulate my thoughts.  I am dreaming again, and God is also now speaking to me by giving me messages.  I know God is healing me where I have experienced another depth or spiritual realm of God's empowering grace.

A part of me wonders if this was an act of God purging and delivering me from more inferior parts of myself and sin.  It was this experience where I realized even more of how God is in control, and perhaps God was breaking my overbearing will power of always appearing to have everything together.  If I have a strong will power, it doesn't allow God to have complete control of my life so that God can effortlessly pour in, through and out of me like a hollowed out vessel so I don't mess up God's divine plan and order. 

It is odd for me to say this, and most won't understand this in the secular world, but my depression has been a gift to me.  It has made me realize that my life story, disappointments and trauma in my life is what has created me to be who I am today, and how God is going to use it for God's glory!  By accepting and understanding why I suffer from Major Depression, I can now walk with others more empathically in their mental health illness revealing their gifts and beauty to them of who they are in Christ.  Not only will this be healing for those that suffer with mental health illness, but hopefully I can offer support to families whose loved ones suffer from mental health illness.  God has placed upon my heart to be open and vulnerable about my story so that I can minister to others in their deepest pain and sufferings.

There is an urgent need to educate the public and church about mental health illness in order to reduce the stigma associated with it so that sufferers no longer have to feel as though they suffer alone in the silence whether at work, school, in their families, or in the church pews. 

If this is how God is using me to be a testimony and vessel for others, I respond just as Mary did when the angel revealed to her that she was going to give birth to a son, Jesus Christ, Our Savior.  Mary responded by saying, "Let it be so" (Luke 1:34).  So I too say, "Let it be so" God!  Use me!  I am your faithful servant.  Amen.   

All For the Greater Glory of Thee!

Tuesday was the fist day of my classes for the spring semester of Seminary.  I had Preaching and Hebrew Readings.  I sat at my desk for nearly three hours Tuesday evening working at reading, translating and parsing the text of Jonah 1:1-3.  That is one hour per verse.  I was thinking to myself that I still have reading to do for my Wednesday class, and I am already feeling exhausted.  The week is not even over, and I have three more classes that I need to prepare for this week.  I am taking a total of 15 semester hour credits.  This is going to be an intense semester with deep theological and critical thinking which does not come naturally for me.  Actually it often makes my head hurt until I can't absorb or digest any more exegesis.  When I get to that point, I must quit and take a break by going within to meet God in prayer and meditation so that God can refill and refresh me.

Tuesday evening was one of those moments where I hit that brick wall threshold.  I decided to pray and meditate from my front office window that overlooks the city lights.  The moon was full and glowing purely, lighting up the night sky.  As I stared at it, I felt as though it was radiating through me filling me up with energy and stamina for this next semester.  I don't know why, but the moon always draws me in with a mystical energy that mesmerizes me.  As I reflect on the demands, the pulls, the flow and energies of the semester and life, the moon's phases gives me an example to the way its natural cycle cannot be altered or changed because it has been divinely set to be where it is at this exact moment. 



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I resonated with the moon knowing that I am also right where I am at with all the demands, pulls, and flow of my Seminary and life schedule.  It has already been divinely orchestrated.  I am invited to walk in it by doing each task that is before me by not looking back, not looking forward, but just being present in the current moment knowing God already has all of this taken care of on my behalf.  By following God's divine order in every detail of my life, I radiate God's glory and experience God's grace.  What beautiful and amazing grace God continues to extend and shower upon me.  It is a gift like no other gift that I have ever received in my entire life.  It has always been there, I was just spiritually blind to it.  It is a gift that makes me desire only God's abounding presence every moment of the day, hour, minute and second of my time.  I know this sounds selfish of me, but since I have experienced God in this way, I long and desire for God's holiness because I don't want anything to compromise this intimate relationship with God.  So this is my prayer.



Oh God,
Let me radiate like the moon in the darkest nights and places of this world.  My prayer is that others "will see you in me."  God, just like the moon shines of your glory, let me too shine of your glory with a pure, loving, merciful, and gracious heart, mind, body and soul.  Let all that I do be honorable and pleasing to you.  My choices, the way I live, how I interact with creation is not about me or for my personal satisfaction, but it is for the greater glory of Thee!  Amen. 

(photo credits are from internet resources listed on the photos or link provided)

Dying Well Means Living Well

 

My semester break has been one of God taking me even deeper into the inner depths of my sinfulness.  This is one of the most painful truths and realizations that I have had to acknowledge within myself.  Not only has it been painful mentally, emotionally and spiritually, but also physically.  I have experienced God rooting out hidden sinful desires within my heart.  My heart has ached, it has throbbed and pulsated to the point that it has felt like my heart was in my throat.  There is nothing that I can do except sit in prayer and meditation breathing through the throbs.  I would just keep repeating and asking, "God, please help me and take this away."  It made me restless and there was no escape from it.  Sleep was even difficult as I laid my head down on my pillow and asked God to just wake me up when He was done and it was all over.  He didn't answer that prayer either because I believe God wants me to feel the consequences of purging my sin.  By recognizing my desperate need in my suffering, I understand the depth and need of my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I believe if I don't understand fully the suffering of Jesus' death for our sins, then I can't fully understand or comprehend the significance of His resurrection.  This understanding is crucial to my obedience in how I live everyday to become Christ like so that I can live out His purpose and will for my life.


Finally as I am writing this, the throbbing and pulsating is subsiding where I am now noticing a warmth of love radiating through my chest.  No longer do I feel like my heart is in my throat.  I believe God wanted me to acknowledge His restorative and redeeming work in me. 

God's restorative work in me has also made me keenly aware of past relationships, circumstances and/or actions where I have hurt others or acted in inappropriate ways that were ignorant and/or spiritually immature.  I publically want to make these wrongs right by saying I am truly sorry for any hurt or pain that I may have caused.  As my time as a hospital chaplain, I got to sit with individuals who were nearing death.  What I noticed is that those individuals who had confessed regrets and remorse to me for unreconciled relationships and wrongs in their life, they experienced the most difficult time of letting go and dying.  I don't want to be that person with unreconciled relationships or wrongs in my life.  I want to be able to die well and that means that I must live well today and each day until God calls me to my eternal resting place. 

For me, this means that each day I should ask myself how I can participate with God in His Kingdom to fulfill His mission of restoring creation.  I end with this prayer. 

God, I pray today and each and every day that not just me, but for all of my brothers and sisters that you will continue to increase our eyesight so that we can see the way you see.  Give us your heart so that we feel for others the way that you love them right where they are at.  Give us your thoughts to increase our insights of how we can achieve justice for all.  Give us your Spirit of consolation so that we can continually be fully present with others in truth, love, mercy and grace.  Protect us God from the enemy attacks that deceive to divide us.  Make us aware to discern evil spirits so that we can intercede to create healing, peace, transformation and unity among our brothers and sisters.  Equip us for this battle to be warriors against the enemy and not against our brothers and sisters.  Thank you God for your continued love and hope in humanity.  Thank you for being with us in all of our messiness where you still love us the same.  Amen

 

Resource credits for photos: 

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