Befriending Our Shadow

This morning I was awakened at 3:30 am from a dream.  I keep a journal beside my bed and write down all of my dreams because dreams are revealing inner depth work.  Dreams can often be prophetic but most often they reveal unconscious parts of ourselves that is trying to come forth.  During our sleep, our defense mechanisms are down while often our inferior parts are revealed to us through individuals that show up in our dreams and even symbolism from objects.  Everything that shows up in our dreams is a part of us both good and bad.  Anyway, as I was finishing writing my dream down before I could even do associations with them, God downloaded words to me where I just started writing effortlessly.  It is about how we must befriend our shadow parts of self.

Before pointing a blaming or judging finger,

Look back at yourself.
What you despise in others,
It is also within you!
It is your dark shadow self,
That you have avoided acknowledging.
It is screaming for your attention,
So you project it on to others.
You are too ashamed to claim it.
But I tell you...
Recognize, acknowledge and accept it.
Befriend your shadow part.
When you do,
It no longer controls you.
You create unity within yourself,
That releases your creativity,
Revealing your full potential.
It is a life giving energy waiting for birth.

Anxiety becomes life giving energy.
Bitterness becomes a work for justice.
Control becomes a discerning leader.
Defensiveness becomes openness to transformation.
Fear becomes Love.

Abandonment becomes spiritual partners.
Impatience becomes waiting with expectancy.
Jealously become hospitality.
Suffering becomes compassion.
Wounded victim becomes wounded healer.

 For all of the social injustices of the world of poverty, sex trafficking, prostitutions rings, oppression, war, violence, inequality, racial discrimination and hate crimes, it emerges out of one’s own fear to control and manipulate others.  Often it is fear that fuels an unrelenting stereotypical opinion that divides all in the name of religion or politics.  Richard Rohr, an author, pastor and founder of The Center for Action and Contemplation in New Mexico, describes this as dualistic thinking.  What he means is that individuals have either a right or wrong opinion; it is black or white with no gray area, or even perhaps conservatism or liberalism.  In dualistic thinking we become paralyzed with such rigid beliefs and opinions that we don't have the capacity to listen and hold other individuals opinions with respect.  One of my many favorite books, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,  by Steven Covey, says that "we must seek to understand before we can be understood."  Covey says that we get so caught up in wanting to be heard that we don't listen to the other individual.  We also get caught up in our own narrative that we don't listen with discernment.  Covey suggests four reasons of why we do this. 

"Because you so often listen autobiographically, you tend to respond in one of four ways:

Evaluating:	You judge and then either agree or disagree.
Probing:	You ask questions from your own frame of reference.
Advising:	You give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
Interpreting:	You analyze others' motives and behaviors based on your own experiences."

I agree with Covey’s opinion, but I would like to further posit that we also must seek to understand ourselves.  This is probably the most important work.  What is it about our narrative that has made us who we are?  Once we understand our own story of where we come from, acknowledge our own hurts and trauma, we can then have the capacity and space within ourselves to listen and hold others beliefs and opinions without becoming defensive.  We no longer act out in belligerent hateful ways to others because within ourselves we have cultivated a self-love for our own narrative and experience.  We nurture our own hurts and trauma by looking at all of the good and bad parts or the abraxas parts of self.  It is by befriending our shadow parts of self that we cultivate a deep well of compassion that wells up within us that begins to overflow.  When it is overflowing from us, we are overjoyed and freely give it away to others no matter where they have been, what they have done or how they have hurt us.  We have a new lens that we look back at to individuals who have deeply hurt us with compassion knowing that they don’t have the capacity to give us what we need.  They are projecting their own unfinished work of their own hurts and trauma on to us.

However, the way to heal from this is by knowing our own inferior and shadow parts of self by acknowledging them.  Once we do, light is given to these dark places and they no longer control us.  We become our true self of who God called and created us to be thus creating unity within ourselves but also hopefully one step closer of creating transformation,  peace and unity with our brothers and sisters.  It is my opinion that this is the peace that God wants us to receive.  In Matthew 6:10, it states “your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”  It begins with us individually and we can create our own peace.  So before you point a finger to judge or blame someone, turn your finger back to yourself and ask:

1.  Where does this shadow or inferior thought come from within my own narrative?

2.  What can this inferior thought teach me about myself that I need to work on?

3.  What is the positive or creative part of this inferior thought that can be released by me acknowledging it?

This work is a gift that we give to ourselves where we can begin to heal our soul.  Our soul is groaning for healing along with the rest of the world.  In Romans 8:22, it is told that “We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now.”  Our souls are groaning and longing for union with the Divine.  Once this unity is achieved with our own soul care, we become illuminated by God’s indwelling presence where we begin to exude love for all.  We open a space that has removed the obstacles of darkness that gives us more room for God to fully dwell within our temple.  “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” 1 Corinthians 6:19.  It is here at this place that we receive God’s peace, wellness and whole-being.  Shalom!

photo credits from various websites:  https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaK10M3yN_J8RP7rHqnUdcTUCDPJ0lQx6EV4bc6w2jVkJIeN15kGj_6avFeW5CuNtUFjrGO9FF-ba0QFimUDSPSM2Zo7wYvB2ESU9t9ENZ8HLbxL_B13fc_edWcj9pLdqTXzxsgLtjz6Q/s1600/shadow+two.jpg
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