Over my semester break, I have been engaging in spiritual exercises developed by St. Ignatius of Loyola. My hope has been to deepen my relationship with Jesus Christ to a new, higher spiritual realm. I want to travel to the center of God's heart and become at one with Him. This way to holiness is not only for me to experience God's voice of what He is inviting me too, but also for me to be able to be fully present to the needs of those that I will be serving. I desire a pure discerning heart that leads me on the path to God's will so that I can serve, advocate and nurture the souls of the marginalized, oppressed, imprisoned, broken and lost souls. Ignatius's exercises takes us to our truest, holiest and deepest desires that connects our heart, mind, body and soul. It is at this place of connectedness and at one with God where we are less likely to be distracted by inferior thoughts and critical voices, or we can at least discern the difference between the spirits. Ignatius would call these spirit of desolation (evil) or spirit of consolation (from God).
St. Ignatius was a Spanish knight during the 16th Century. He was born to a wealthy family. He lived a wild and promiscuous life of selfishness and vanity. During a battle, both of Ignatius's legs were broken. It was during this time of bed rest for six months that Ignatius would encounter God. Once he was completely healed, he set out on a pilgrimage and became a Jesuit priest serving the sick and poor. It would be during this time of service and seeking God's will that Ignatius developed these spiritual exercises.
So one of my daily exercises led me to Isaiah 43:1-7. I would encourage you to read it at this point. I was invited to name my God given talents and gifts as well as my limitations and weaknesses. I sat in silence as the Holy Spirit revealed these to me. As I listed my gifts and limitations, I sat in silence and solitude meditating over them to see what else God would reveal to me. This is what came that God revealed to me.
In the midst of my gifts and limitations, I know that God is continually at work within me. God loves me right where I am. God made me and created me. God is revealing to me each day who He intended me to be. Each day is a new day where He makes me new if I am open to Him forming and molding me into his image. It comes with painful truths of looking at who I am not. By facing these painful truths, it releases my creativity, gifts, talents and full potential of who God created me to be. I am on my way of coming home not only within myself, but God is inviting me and preparing me to move onward to my eternal home. A process of holiness.
Our time here on earth is temporary, but we can have peace like it is in heaven if we so choose. It is an individual choice to whether we will participate with God to a way of holiness by surrendering our entire being to Him and His will. Will we allow Him to transform us through grace into loving, compassionate and nonjudgmental individuals restoring peace, order, systems, structures and relationships?
He has given us the example through Jesus Christ in how to do this as well as His spoken word. Will we choose to follow in the way we were instructed in word and by deed as Jesus Christ as our example? It is laid out pretty simple, but in our human imperfections, manipulative ways and selfish desires, we get in the way and distracted by Satan's deceit and lies. The battle is not with our family, friends, or enemy's, the battle is with Satan. If we choose to reconcile, forgive, restore and love in all circumstances we open the way and defeat the enemy. This is how we create unity to defeat the enemy that thereby creates a "beloved community."
It is a choice. It is a choice to live a life of holiness each day. This is the holy work and way that God is inviting and calling us to live. I personally strive for Christ-like holiness knowing that I fall short each day. However, by acknowledging the depth of my sins, it reveals my growing edges where wisdom, humility and grace are at work within me. It is a daily way of living for the rest of my life. 2 Corinthians 7:1 states, "Therefore, since we have these promises,
dear friends,
let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness
out of reverence for God." Amen.
Resources: O'Brien, Kevin. 2011. "The Ignatian Adventure."
Finally as I am writing this, the throbbing and pulsating is subsiding where I am now noticing a warmth of love radiating through my chest. No longer do I feel like my heart is in my throat. I believe God wanted me to acknowledge His restorative and redeeming work in me. 
