River Reflections from God

Oh God, I have been cleaning house on this Saturday rainy morning.  As you know I have been struggling with intense emotional warfare for the past three weeks to the point of internally feeling sick and knowing that my soul is groaning for what I do not even know!  Thursday evening as I laid on my bedroom floor wailing and crying out to You wondering when You are going to move and deliver me from this anguish, I was angry at You and wondering why You haven't let me hear or know Your presence for the past three weeks in the manner that I am accustomed to experiencing You.  I wondered if You too had abandoned and rejected me!  I asked You what else do You want to take from me?  I have nothing else left to give You.  You have stripped me of everything that was important to me that I loved.  Yes You even stripped me of myself and I even gave You my heart.  It seems that I have been going through the fire for a very long season and I wonder when I will see a breakthrough to answered prayers or some movement.

Then yesterday, Friday, I was between appointments and had about 40 minutes to spare and I felt like You were calling me to the river at Port Republic.  It was not an ideal day to go to the river to reflect because it was rainy and cold, but I went anyway.  I was there for a long time and nothing came.  I thought again, another time of empty reflections, no answers or messages.  I wanted to leave because I was so cold and wasn't experiencing anything, but something was not allowing me to leave.  I stood at the edge of the river and kept looking at how the river came together and parted in three ways:  maybe representing where I have been, maybe where I am at currently and possibly where I may be going?  What was interesting where the river was flowing too, it forked going two possible ways.  However at the one fork, it was completely obstructed and blocked with tress, broken limbs and debris so the only way to get by was to take the other fork in the river which was a very narrow path.  There I believe is my answer that I am to continue on the narrow path and not keep trying to force or move to the one that has been obstructed possibly for my own protection.  I've been waiting for a long time for a door to open so that I can move into this new direction, but nothing has happened.  Am I supposed to get into the water and say "Yes" to the narrow path? 

Shortly before I was getting ready to leave a hawk flew over me that kept circling above me.  I followed it and it eventually ended up in a wooded area where I could hear the hawk calling out.  I think God was using the hawk to call me out into the water and to say "Yes" to His calling upon my life and to stop resisting or wanting things my way.  It reminded me that I need to stay focused on the vision that God has placed on my heart for a ministry and not be distracted by the impermanent things of this world.

Where I was standing, there were empty freshwater shells everywhere revealing to me that everything dead within me has been purified by emptying my soul of past hurts and sin that will allow me to walk out into the water into a new spiritual realm.  This will allow me to do God's work effortlessly.

Right before I left, I looked up across the river and saw a crane standing beside the water that I had not seen previously.  It was like it mystically appeared.  The crane was also a message from God revealing to me that there is FREEDOM getting into the water and this is where I can find hope, peace and healing.  God reveals that to us in Matthew 6:10 in the Lord's Prayer where it says, "your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."  This is what God wants to give all of us....FREEDOM in Him and only Him! 

Will you get in the water with me?  Now I want to go back to the river and canoe down the narrow path and see what else God may reveal to me.  I also want to honor God by going down the river letting Him know that I am saying "Yes" to this next narrow path where He is leading me into another spiritual realm living out this calling that He has placed upon my heart.

I am wondering if you will do this with me????  Any takers????  The more the merrier...I would love to be surrounded by fellow believers and supporters on this new river journey where God is taking me.